The Top 10 Hotel Questions

1. Why do hotels put the TP in a triangle?

2. Why do cheap hotels offer free WiFi, but expensive ones charge for it?

3. Why are wake-up calls limited to hotels?  Why can't you get a wake-up call in your bedroom?

4. Why is the thermostat never correct - it is freezing, but it says 75 degrees, or it is boiling at 60.

5. How are there commercials that air JUST in hotels.  Meaning, you can be watching CNN news and see commercials just for business travelers in your hotel room - amazing.

6. Why do shower curtains have a clear area 5 1/2 feet up - is it for extra light?  I've never needed that before, so why do I need it now?

7. Why aren't Mobile Star ratings the same in every country?

8. Since when can you just make up your own Mobile Star ranking?  There are only 5 stars!, but in the last few years there have been hotels saying they are 6 star, 7 star and now 10 star hotels.... really?!?

9. Why are there so many options to check-out?  I've checked-out over the phone, on-line, on a television, and by dropping a key in a box.  Yet I never know if it is done until I double check with the front desk.

10.  Why do business hotels not put outlets next to the bed - I mean, WHO in 2010 isn't plugging something in when they sleep?

Talk to me... what questions do you have about hotels?

Information Is Power

Information is power.  Sharing that information always makes customers more comfortable.

As a business traveler who flies over 200,000 miles per year on various airlines, I am used to delayed flights.  The delay of 1 hour and 15 minutes was not an issue.  What was the issue was the lack of assistance that the gate agent gave to passengers waiting for the flight.

Here are the details:

• Flight scheduled to depart at 10:20am
• Delayed to 10:40am
• No announcements until 11:00am
• At 11:00am the announcement said the plane was circling overhead but that they were waiting for the international planes to land. (really?!?)  The agent said that the flight would leave at 11:20am.
• At 11:15am no plane, no announcement
• Finally, 11:30am the plane lands, the passengers deplane, we board and take off.  The turn around time was in fact impressively quick.

Again, the delay was not the issue.  The issue was that there was no announcement until 40 minutes after the flight was scheduled to leave originally, and 20 minutes after the delayed time.  Then when that time came and went there was no other announcement.

I recognize that the gate agent may not have been armed with further knowledge of the planes arrival/departure time.  However she should be trained on how to better communicate with customers regarding what the status is.  Customers like to know.  Customers feel stress when they don’t feel that they have information.  She simply could have made additional statements when the flight was scheduled to leave, at the delayed time, and every 15 minutes after that.  Customers always feel better when the information (power) is shared. 

Finally, because there were no announcements most of the travelers came to the desk to ask about the status.  The agent responded in what I felt was a condescending answer: “you didn’t hear the announcement.  Oh well, the plane is overhead and we are scheduled to leave at 11:20.”  She repeated these same answers after 11:20 and with no regard for how long ago the announcement was made.  Saying, “you didn’t hear the announcement” is both patronizing and unhelpful. 

As I said, the delay was minor.  And the turn-around was impressive.  But the customer service at the gate was disappointing.  The gate agent has the responsibility to assist all of the customers waiting for their flight.  Airlines need to empower the agents with the authority to educate their customers and if they already do this, then they need to train agents to do a better job.

This is a slightly altered version (names, flight number, etc were removed) of a letter I sent to the airline today.  I will post their response.

You Are A Very Rude Traveler

Today is the first article in a new segment called, You Are A Very Rude Traveler.

I promise to try and mix the good and the bad - the rants and the raves.  But sometimes things just need to be pointed out.  Today - it is to the parents that let their children sing along.

I don't blame the children - they don't know better.  But you parent, you are a very rude traveler.  Letting your child sing along to their cartoons (or each other) for more than 10 minutes in a confined space... that is just rude.

Please feel free to add your own You Are A Very Rude Traveler stories in the comments - I'm sure there are some doosies out there!

They Prefer...

Last night I walked into a bar.  There were 2 other customers in the room.  One was on his computer with his back to the television, and the other was reading a Kindle.  So, I asked a bartender if we could change the TV channel from Monday Night Football to CNBC. I know this is sacrilegious to some people, please don't get too angry, this wasn't a sports bar, rather it was a hotel bar.  (Before you are too impressed by my CNBC request, there was an interesting special on CNBC with Warren Buffet and Bill Gates giving their words of wisdom to MBA Students from Columbia University). 

When I asked the bartender if we could change the channel, he replied, "They prefer we watch football."  I inferred "they" to be management.  So I replied with: "Really, I'm surprised they prefer we watch football, not watch what the customers requests?!?"

Who do you think wanted to watch football?  The bartender or the management?

I Am Judging You

I don’t mean to sound mean (although much of this blog is just me blowing off steam from the road), but I am judging you at TSA. I walk through the line and judge all the people in front of me (come on, you do too).

What rock have you been living under for the last 25 years that you do not know you have to take metal out of your pockets in order to walk through a metal detector? Who doesn’t judge that?!?

Take your laptop out of your suitcase – if you don’t, they will, and you’ll still have to wait for it.  And so will I.  Now I am judging how you think your time is more valuable than mine.

If you are traveling alone you get only 2 bins in the summer and 3 in the winter, if and only if, you need a winter coat where you are going. That is it. Do not be that lone person that takes 5 bins, you are simply hurting all of the people behind you, and we are judging you for taking more than your fair share.

Liquids are not allowed (it is stupid I know, but it is the rule). Just because you accidentally got 25 oz of shampoo through the last time you vacationed does not mean you should try it every time. Don’t worry I am judging rule as much as I am judging you.

Please push your stuff into the x-ray machine… trusting the person behind you to do it isn’t trustworthy, it’s naive. Judging.

Have your shoes off when you get to the end of the belt. Unless you are from another country (and that is a good defense because the shoe rule doesn’t apply in most countries) then you know all shoes have to come off. Yes, even your knee high boots that will take you 5 minutes to put back on at the other side of TSA. When you don’t take your shoes off I am wondering if maybe you don’t read (as you have passed 7 signs stating that you need to take your shoes off) and that is why you don’t know about this rule.

Finally, when you are done getting dressed again and have all of your stuff perfectly situated where you want it. Please, please, please return the grey bin to the end of the line stacked neatly in pile they give you. (Not scientific, but an observation is that women are much more likely to put the bin back, while most men leave it on the table – makes you wonder). When you don’t put the bin back it clogs up the system for all of the people behind you. Each time you don’t put a bin back, I am judging you for getting in everyone else’s way.

If some of these rules are new to you, then there are lots of signs posted along the way (some airports even have video), take a minute and check them out. You can go to the TSA website and check out the guidelines before you get to the airport. If you don’t, then know that I, and my fellow weekly travelers, are judging all over you.

Body Bubble

When I was in 7th grade I learned about "Body Bubbles."   A Body Bubble is the space between you and another person where you are most comfortable.  This space fluctuates between each person, and is different between men and women and whether you are facing face to face or shoulder to shoulder.

This blog is a dedicated (in the bad way) to the people who have been crossing the line.  Over the last 3 weeks the following people have crossed the line next to me:

1) Nail Filing.  A woman filed her nails next to me for 1 hour!  That may not gross you out, but it absolutely freaks me out!  As far as I am concerned, this is a bathroom behavior that isn't for your living room, let alone the airplane.  For 1 hour there were nail bits flying around me.

2) Breast pumping.  I have never needed to breast pump - so, in fairness, I don't know - but I can't imagine you can't wait until you go to the bathroom.  I don't need to see your boobs for over an hour.  The End.

3) Making out.  I was sitting in a window seat, and the two people next to me, in the middle seat and the aisle seat, met on the airplane.  By the time we landed they were over each others seats making out.  One word... Inappropriate.

So, please remember, although you don't know the people sitting next to you on the airplane, and will in fact probably NEVER see them again, this is not a license to do completely private acts.  On behalf of frequent flyers everywhere, I beg of you, please save these behaviors to the bathroom... it is, after all, invading my body bubble.

Shoe Obsession

I am in Vegas again, and had a frightening realization last night.  I am here for 2 days and 2 nights, and brought 7 pairs of shoes (oh my).

I can already imagine a certain someone's father rolling his eyes, sighing, and wondering if he should ever read this blog again.

In truth, I am embarrassed that there are 7 pairs... but which to cut?

For my two days of work, I have 2 different suits (one trouser style and one skirt) and they require 2 completely different styles of shoes, (pairs 1 and 2).  On the second day, I don't want to wear four-inch heels through the airport, so I have a pair to wear with my skirt suit that is just for the airport (pair 3).  I have a pair of casual shoes for wearing out at night with a dress (4).  I have the boots I wore on the way here (5).  Trainers for working-out (6).  And flip flops (7) because hotel carpets gross me out.  Too add to my embarrassment, 5 of the above 7 shoes are black.

So I ask you... which to cut?  And who can relate?

And in case you are wondering - yes, my suitcase can hold more than 7 pairs of shoes with lots of extra room for clothes.

For Every Rave there is a Rant

Last night I was sleeping in my awesome Cubby Hotel and was awoken at 5:00 am to skunk spray.

I was in the North East and had to have heat in my room, but each time the heat came on it pulled air from the outside and blew skunk smell into my room.  All I could think about was the dry cleaning bill for my suits the next day.

It must be a glass half-full kind of day, but it goes to prove that for every rave there is a rant.

Things That Make You Go Hmmm...

These are things I wonder about as I travel around:

1) Why can't you use your cell phone before take off, but can use it upon landing?

2) Why can you use your cell phone upon landing, but not your computer?

3) Why can something that I buy at Radio Shack for $22 wreck an airplane?

4) Why does what I bought at Radio Shack for $22 cost $55 at the airport?

5) Why are some airplane seats flotation devices, but not all?

6) Why will the oxygen bag not fully inflate?  Won't you want all the oxygen you can get?!?

7) Why will 5 agents stand around talking to each other, but insist I use a kiosk?

8) Why can the kiosk at the ticket counter make more changes to my ticket than those 5 ticket agents can?

9) Why do you have to take your shoes off in the USA, but in no other country? 

10) Why can't I bring in a 12 oz bottle of water, but I can bring in four 3 oz bottles of water?

The Name Game

Does anyone know, why have flight attendants have stopped wearing name tags?

Is it because they don't want credit when they do well?

Or because they don't want to be criticized when the do something bad?

Or just that they want to be incognito? 

Makes me wonder...

If Possible, Consider It Done...

... don't you think that should be the motto of all service organizations?  Especially those organizations that you are loyal to, spend a lot of money with, and are a priority client?  Wouldn't it be nice if they said: "If possible, consider it done"?

But when was the last time someone went out of their way to help you?

I am a high value customer for an airline.  I clearly do not spend millions of dollars with them, but I spend much more than my fair share.  And I will say that I normally get very good service on this airline (only because of my status, not because they are some super star airline that you have never heard of).  But today I was stuck in Toronto with last minute change of plans, and I need to get to San Francisco tomorrow.  This is the conversation I had with the gentleman who answered the phone at their Top Tier Service call center:

Agent: Hello? (as if he was at home and annoyed to be answering a phone)

Me: Is this the airline?

Agent: Yes.

Me: Can you change my flight so I can fly standby tomorrow?

Agent: Hold on, let me check (then the music comes on)

Agent: No, you cannot fly standby.

Me: Why not?

Agent: That's the rule.

My thoughts: Thanks, now that I know the rules I will blindly follow them like a lemming.

Me: Could you explain the rule, so that I understand?  I kid you not, I asked this.  Calmly even.

Agent: I know it makes no sense, but that is the rule.  

Me:  Could I talk to someone other than you?  (notice I did not say supervisor)

Agent: Yes.  Then hangs up on me.

What happened to, if possible, consider it done?!?  Do you think what he meant to say was: Here is forty cents, call someone who cares!?

Dog Is My Co-Pilot

Last Thursday I was on a flight from Newark to San Francisco.  The flight was filled with business travelers (it being October, 10 pm, and a weekday).  The in-flight show was a reality show about dog grooming.

Now I ask you, what percent of a plane, filled with business travelers, could that show have been aimed at?

 
(In fairness, I should say that a friend of mine said the show was very funny... but again, how many people do you think saw reality dog grooming and went "oh yeah - I've been hoping to see that"?!?)

10 Things I Find Funny About Vegas

10. There is a Shark Reef in the middle of the desert.
9. At 7:30 am you will see people still dressed from the night before, drinking coronas... even on a Wednesday.
8. The mini bar's top shelf has mini alcohol bottles; the bottom shelf is stuffed with hangover cures: water, orange juice, cranberry juice, Redbull, Gaterade, Advil, Aleeve... whatever you prefer.
7. The is something for everyone: from the uber rich to those who pay $24 a night for a room; from great-grandmas to 4 year olds; and from frat boys and business men.
6. The skies are bluer inside than they are outside.
5. Great food, yet buffets galore.
4. Broadway shows that are as good as NY (sometimes better).
3. That taxi drivers get paid $80 per person that they drop off at a gentlemens club... incentive much?!?
2. And that upon arrival most people look fashionable and put together, but upon departure most people look... well as if they are in pain.
1. Everything that happens in Vegas... stays on You Tube.

5 trains, 5 hours, and only 5 miles - Part 1

Let me preface by saying, I am a huge advocate of public transport – I love the ease, I find it less stressful, I love that I listen to music and read a book and people watch all on my way somewhere else.

In all fairness this story is 50% my fault and 50% San Francisco Muni’s fault. One fateful Friday, my new landlord sent me a text saying “I’m at the apartment can you come over?” And when the landlord calls, you hop. So I hoped up from my desk, on the opposite side of the city, with plans of taking the N and thought I'd be there in 45 minutes. I knew I had a conference call at 2:00 pm, so would have to rush.

The N Judah picks up maybe 25 feet from my current apartment and drops off 100 yards from my new apartment. And a mere $2 will buy you a round trip if you come back in four hours. What's not to love about that?

So I walk to the platform, watch the T train go by and wait for the next N train to come. I get on the phone with my sister, who is simply hilarious, and start chatting. A train pulls up and I hop on, still distractedly talking. We said goodbye as we went underground. I pull out my book and start reading. About 15 minutes later, I realize that we have been underground a lot longer than normal – I look up to double check and Oh NO! I’m on the T, and have gone 4 stops beyond the last place to transfer back to the N.

I hop off at the next stop, run around the station and wait for the next train to come to take me back to Van Ness, so I can transfer to my train line. A train comes four minutes later, but the doors won’t open. We are waiting to get on, passengers are waiting to get off, and the Muni staff is running up and down the platform trying to figure out what is wrong.

After seven minutes they manually open all the doors to let people out. Then the Muni manager tells me to get in… I asked “what about the doors?” He replied, “get in” so I did. What could I do? Waiting for the next wouldn’t do me any good, it was stuck behind this one.

For the next four stops we spent up to 10 minutes with the Muni guys running up and down the platforms, opening and closing the doors. Finally, I get to Van Ness, then on to the N, on to my stop and up to my landlord.  See part 2 for how I got home...

5 trains, 5 hours, and only 5 miles - Part 2

Continued from Part 1... Now I’m so late there is no way I can make it home for my conference call, so I got to a park, that happens to be a dog park, and sit on bench and call in. I tell my co-worker I’m in a dog park, but that the dogs are mostly catching balls and she says she can’t hear anything and the client will never know (the client is suppose to think I am sitting in my office).

While on my call a small French bulldog jumps onto the bench and then proceeds to curl up in my lap. And his owner is just watching! I push the dog off (much to the dismay of the owner who is now giving me dirty looks) and proceed with my call, acting as if nothing happened.

About 10 minutes later a puppy basset hound walks over, his ears so long he is about to step on them, and he is too adorable so I give him a quick pet, then back to the call. Clearly he disagrees. He starts barking at me to pet him again. I’m saying sorry to the client, and trying to explain, my colleague is laughing and the only thing I can say is: “you never miss a call with a client.”  After a group laugh, we go about our call and wrap up. As we’re saying goodbye my phone dies, I run into a restaurant frantic and ask if they have a payphone, she looks at me like I asked if they have a time machine and says, very slowly, “noooo” while shaking her head. I say I’m desperate for a phone and another patron offers hers. I call and explain; they are fine.

So I grab a sandwich from the restaurant (the least I could do) and walk up to the N platform to ride home. The sign says the next one will be here in 20 minutes, and the one after that will be here 5 minutes later – clearly there has been a problem and they are all stacked up. So I sit down, on the concrete, and eat my sandwich.

Twenty minutes later the N comes and it is so jammed with people they are literally hanging onto each other. The 20-minute wait put me over my four hours, so I had to buy another $2 ticket.

We go one stop and the driver says, “the subway has been closed, everyone get off and walk to Church Street to pick up another train.” That stop was so close I could have thrown my sandwich at it from where I waited! So with 200 other angry passengers I get off and walk through the Castro to pick up a different Muni. I get on the platform with half the angry passengers (about 100 people) and the announcer says, “All trains have been stopped. We don’t know how long.”  Predictable.

Men with flashlights are walking through the subway and all I can think of are scenes from Law & Order – maybe someone jumped, maybe they are looking for a gun, maybe they found a runaway...

Twenty-five minutes later the trains start working again and come to pick us up. When I finally got home, it was 5 hours later, 5 different trains, and only 5 miles round trip.

Really? Really?! Really?!?

The other day a friend of mine and I were having dinner at a simple (and empty) restaurant in Virginia Beach.  They had two glasses of Sauvignon Blanc on the menu - they were both from the same county in Australia and both 2007 vintage.  I asked the server what the difference was between the two wines.  He asked me: "Is there a price difference?"  I said, yes, and noted that one was $1.50 more per glass than the other.  He said: "the more expensive one is better."

Customer Service - An Attitude Or A Department

Recently I was flying from Miami to San Francisco. My flight was scheduled to depart at 7:00 pm and delayed until 7:30 pm – due to a mechanical. No problem, I want the plane to be safe.

At 7:30 pm no announcement is made the screens just change to depart at 8:00 pm… okay. At 8:15 pm no announcement is made, and the screens still show 8:00 pm and now no airline employee is standing at the gate. So I, and many others, stand at the counter for someone to show up. All I want is some information (it being power and all) so that I know what to expect – should I eat, should I walk away, or are we going to board any minute.

At 8:30 pm a woman walks over to the counter adjacent to ours, but is looking down and shaking her head and saying “no,” “no,” “no” she sounded like the seagulls in Finding Nemo “mine, mine, mine”. Who could she be talking to? Who is she saying no to? No one knows. Then she looks up to me and says “no”. I said “no, what?” She said, “No I’m not working that flight.” ARE you kidding me?!?! All this and she doesn’t even know what we want and all she can say is No!!!

Then she walks away repeating no… like a parrot. I’m asking is anyone working the flight? No. Do you know when someone will come? No. Do you know what time we will leave? No. You get the idea.

Then the other people in line start to walk away… but I’m pretty fired up, and am happy to stand. Five minutes later, another employee comes to the counter but is on his cell phone. I wait. He doesn’t look up at me, doesn’t say I’ll be right with you, doesn’t acknowledge anything. So I’m listening to his call (well, he is 3 feet in front of me). And I hear “That will be $88 a month. Um Hmm.  For how many minutes?” I am now livid! I bark, “are you on the phone with your cell phone company?” He nods. I said, “Are you working?” He nods. I said, “Can you help us?” He shakes his head no. I am SO furious that I run over to the customer service desk. Thinking it must be a department, because it is clearly not an attitude.

The lady listens; she empathizes and informs me that I need to speak to her supervisor, Frank. She calls the supervisor and asks him to come and talk to me… Frank, the supervisor, is the man who was on his cell phone!

Our flight left 7 hours after it was scheduled to leave. I arrived in San Francisco at 6:45 am – not midnight the night before. The airline sent me a letter apologizing for the delay and crediting miles to my account.  What made me even angrier is that, it wasn’t the delay (again I want to be safe), I’m angry because of the lack of customer service. Clearly customer service is not an attitude in the friendly skies.

Guess the Country...

We were biking the Mayan trails and started to play one of my favorite games… Guess the country. Essentially you watch other tourists and guess which country they are traveling from.

For most areas there are telltale signs: Italians are usually in large groups and dressed very fashionably, even if that means very uncomfortably. The French wear scarves, even in 110-degree heat, around their necks, hips, heads, you name it. The Brits are usually wearing something where you just can’t tell… is it retro from 20 years ago or going to be the height of fashion in about 18 months (I give you roman sandals as an example).

And to be clear, I am not above reproach! I regularly wear visors (much to my British and Irish friends embarrassment) and have never traveled without my Reef flip-flops, so I too can be easy to spot.

But back to Coba – while we were playing Indiana Jones (biking the Mayan roads and climbing old ruins) we spotted Americans that just screamed tourist. There were very fit women (who clearly spend hours a week in the gym) but couldn’t climb the 150 steps to the top without being winded. There were also ladies going down on their bums (ingenious in the end). But my favorite of all was the couple wearing Corona bottle T-shirts that said Puerto Vallarta on them with their matching Playa del Carmen straw hats. All while having a local bike them around in a 3-wheel cart/tricycle thing.  Nothing says we are seeing the sights like that!